I have just lost one more friend. I know it’s not the kind of topic I should be starting to blog with. I have come to realise that there are so many things we feel but just can’t express or explain at times. And for people in their early 20s, like me, there are like a million things that life offer us at times and we get utterly busy with, (I am sure we’ve all more or less been through that phase). Young Adults. its like every teens’ dream come true. University and new friends, sounds like party-all-time much? I had no idea my life would get so hectic with studies and shit, or maybe its just architecture. Like seriously, who ever thought in their teens that they would barely get time to say ‘hi’ to their closest friends?
How often do you come across people who would tell straight on your face that you have been a bad friend? And if you were told so, what were your excuses? Life got busier? Family? Job? Studies? Or a over-possessive relationship with a psycho guy? Neh, face it! You were just taking them for granted. Yeah that explains because that is exactly what I have been doing ever since. Please stop judging me, I am not as horrible as I sound though. But to be honest, this is something I have never realised until today, when a friend randomly called me and said its high time we should ‘unfriend’ each other from our lives because friendship is not a one-sided thing. That was the moment i have also realised that it’s too late. Its more like an epiphany.
No, I did not wrong any one if that is what you are wondering. I was just too caught up with studies, and projects, and living quite a life of a loner (hey, i do enjoy it sometimes). At times I distance myself from people and i don’t even know why. And during all these, I keep forgetting to regularly keep up with my friends, with the people who matters. There were times when I replied to texts after weeks, never bothered answering calls or calling to drop a hi. I used to randomly meet them and disappear again into the blue. as miserable as it sounds, it seemed perfectly okay for me because I always thought they’ll be there for me. never realised I’m missing. I am not a selfish person though. I have always loved them with all my heart and there wasn’t a single event in my life I celebrated without them.
I have my own insecurities. My mom always told me that if you always stick around the same people all the time, they will start taking you for granted, or use you for their own benefits. According to her, things just gets bitter, like squeezing a lemon too much (not sure if that was a right example to fit here but you know what i mean). So I always had these ‘what-ifs’ in my head. In a sense I feel lucky about the fact that I had a friend honest enough to made me realise these; heaven knows how many have I lost silently by now. Moral of the story, try your best to make it up to your friends no matter whatever is keeping you from them, or at least that is what I will be working on. All I know is no matter how busy, how horrible or how disastrous life gets, never push your old friends away. Maybe its just a little too late for me…