My Highway of Regret

Lately, I’ve been in my dog days; sluggishly lazy, mostly home or just attending my university classes. Thanks to foodpanda for serving me food on time.

It was one evening in the year of 2010. My Mr.X called me out of the blue to check up on me after years. I used to call him up from an unknown number just to hear that hello from his voice, I still wonder if he could guess it was me. So there was this random day, he called me and we were talking, it was more like a walk down the memory lane and the inevitable what ifs.

What if we never broke up? How would our lives be? Would we be engaged to each other by then? Would we talk to our families about us? Would we get our fairytale happily ever after that we always used to talk about then?
He got his girlfriend a diamond ring, white gold-plated. I said I was happy with my boyfriend too. I don’t exactly know where this part came from in middle of our conversation. I don’t even know why’d I say that and what was he thinking! That conversation ended so awkwardly.

I remember crying myself to sleep that night.
Because he only made me realize how much I still felt (feel) for him no matter who I’m dating; a truth I try to cover to carry on.

That was the last time we spoke till date; don’t think we’ll ever speak again. Heard they broke up a month after that. He changed his number since. I don’t get to hear his voice anymore. But I do stalk him on Facebook and instagram every once in a while. He is in a very happy relationship now.
Today I woke up from a bad dream. I saw him getting married to his current girlfriend there. Ever since I was getting a heavy and bad vibe that something isn’t good. So I called up one of X’s friends, who happens to be a distant friend of mine, and told him about my dream. I was not surprised to know he is getting married this winter; they’ve saved the date already.

What am I to do now? I am just happy for him. I am also glad to find out that our magical connection is still alive, even though the universe has different plans for both of us. My prayers and wishes will be there for them. She is lucky because she’ll be living my dream…

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5 comments on “My Highway of Regret

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