Peace and the Rainy Days

They say God hears every wish made when it rains. It’s raining outside. 1:30 in the morning. I am not a ‘pluviophile’ perhaps it’s wishing time. So I sighed deeply and all my wishes went out of my heart and disappeared into the air as I exhaled. Do I really need words to ask God for some love and mercy?
Yeah He has given me enough, no doubt in that. I have a healthy wealthy family, I don’t have to work ’cause my parents are rich enough to afford every single desire of mine.
I get to eat more than 3 times a day. I go to the top architectural school in the country. I’m doing well academically. My parents are very much in love and my teenaged brother is not a spoilt brat yet.
Then what do I have to wish for? I must be very greedy, because despite having everything I need, my wants are as infinite. But no, not really. I just want one thing. Inner peace.

I have travelled almost half of the world. We take a month-long family vacation almost every other year. Last summer I went to Thailand again just to visit the buddhist monasteries. If anything, they give me hope. from throwing coins at the wishing wells to tying threads and bells on the edge of the mountains, they meaninglessly behold hope. they behold the hopes to find some peace, from people like me. I’ve been there, done that. hiked all the way to the hilltop to light a candle and hang a bell. As absurd as it is, even though it is not my religion, I find it very fascinating how we feed ourselves with these.

I hate going to sleep having a bitterness in my mind that i have to survive one more day with no peace. I can’t stop wars, I can’t help poverty, I can’t feed the starvings, I can’t prevent the earthquake. I can’t even save people from death and destruction. What am I worth then? Is my life all about weeping over guys and bad relationships? I can’t help it because I am powerless, I can’t possess powers over fate. But where is God then? How could He not stop all these injustice and cruel conspiracies and drama? With everything in my tiny little mind, how could I make a single wish to God when there are a thousand things He needs to look into?
Maybe that’s why I could wish nothing but deeply sigh.

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